A new beginning. And things will change.
Let's hope for the best.
I might be afraid of this changes. However, I guess I need a change now. When everything seems to be going wrong, I really hope this time, great things are coming.
I am ready for this new beginning, new people, new environment, new energy, new surroundings, new exciting and surprising. And now I will do what's best for me.
I tell myself that it's okay to be a glow-stick. I break for the past few months and I hope this is the time I get to shine. I had a hard climb, I risk the unusual, I stumbled and I lose sight of many things in life, especially for the past 4 months. I should stop reading the last chapter and move on to a new page.
First, I need to learn the grace of letting go. Dear x, I am sorry for all the wrong and terrible things that I have done to you, and to our relationship. Thank you so much for the memories. You deal with my bullshit, with my flaw yet you still stick around. The fact that you tell me how imperfect I am makes me know that I need to improve, grow and become better. A best friend is not only a person who is always there for you. It's someone who understands you a bit more than yourself. We shall kept it to ourselves for now and smile at it in the future. I promise you to be a better person and I promised you to be how we used to be. Just so you know, no matter what comes along our way, you are always irreplaceable and you will always be my best friend.
Secondly, I need to learn to be patient and calm. Bad things happened unexpectedly. I have three choices, let it destroy me, strengthen me or let the situation itself defines me. I've always the one who likes to put the blame. Sometimes things are made to happen, and it always happens for a reason. I shall stay calm and learnt from the lesson instead.
Thirdly, move on. Do not look back because I might fall over what is in front of me. I foresee the challenges, the stress. I fear and I worry. Although I always thought I need a changes in my life to grow, I still miss the time me and you spent without any worry.
We could stay in bed from morning till night, eat sleep hang around and repeat. I miss the days where I could just stay awake till 3am and wake up at 12pm. I miss random outing with close friend without commitments, time constrain and do whatever we love, living a stress free life, in a stress free zone.
I guess it's time to move on and become better everyday, become better than I was yesterday.
I understand that it definitely takes time. First of all I need to readjust my mindset, the attitude I used to have when I was working back then and the lifestyle I want to achieve. I want my past to make myself better, not bitter.
I used to work for few months and I am dissatisfy with my way of thinking and my way of handling stress and problems. I was waiting the storm to pass everyday and it feels like forever. Let's just learn how to dance in the rain instead. I try kay. I am not expecting the best, but I am expecting a better than yesterday.
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